Blinded by the `Blonde’

Jul 14

We’re getting so close to the end of MTV’s “Legally Blonde the Musical: The Search for Elle Woods” that I’d like to just predict the winner and save us all the ridiculous drama. Bailey (right), here’s the starring role. Get to work. Rumor has it that to cover their butts, producers only have to allow the winner of this contest to appear for a week in the show. Then maybe they’ll get a Broadway legend to take over.

I don’t like reality TV’s ludicrous bells and whistles – all the boring gimmicks they use to pump up the so-called drama – and I especially don’t like them on this show. It makes the theater, specifically musical theater, look ridiculous, when, in reality, people in musical theater are insanely talented and work their asses off. As casting agent and show judge Bernie Telsey said of Laura Bell Bundy, the outgoing star of Legally Blonde: “Laura Bell does this eight times a week every night.”

Another benefit of this pound-my-head-against-the-wall-stupid show is that it has given me all new respect for the talents of Ms. Bundy and what she has done with the ultra-demanding role of Elle Woods. I hope she gets a nice long rest and then gets a cushy sitcom that makes her a big enough star so that she can come back and star in a Broadway musical.

So, on to Monday night’s episode and the final four. We have the adult, Autumn, clocking in at an oh-so-wise 28. And then we have the kids: Bailey, 20, Rhiannon, 19, and Lauren, 18.

Their task this week was to learn the complicated and exuberant number (the best one in the show), “What You Want,” when Elle delivers a splashy musical routine complete with marching band instead of writing a personal essay to get into Harvard Law. The idea was to let the girls show their “it” factor all the while proving that they are triple threats: they can sing, dance, act, and the silent fourth threat: be blonde.

The best line during rehearsals came from Lauren (right) commenting on Bailey: “I do not have any liking towards her singing voice.” And as I’ve said before, I don’t have any liking towards Lauren’s face, especially when she gets her Sad Sack Lauren look.

[Spoiler alert]Well, to jump ahead because I’m bored, she had a lot of reason to be sad this week. All four girls got called into the casting office and were told how much they suck. Then Lauren was dumped. But here’s the twist because there’s only one more episode left (hooray!): one more girl is getting booted as a result of “What You Want,” which is an ironic number because it revealed what the judges don’t want.

Here’s the thing, though. Rumors abound in the old Interweb that Lauren has been cast as a sorority sister in the Legally Blonde national tour. If it’s true, that’s not a bad gig for such a young’un.

The promo for next week’s episode promised “the most groundbreaking moment in Broadway history.” What, Chita Rivera is going to be cast as Elle?

Enjoy vocal coach Seth Rudetsky’s rather flatulent wrap-up of this week’s episode.

One comment

  1. Gaff /

    A truly guilty pleasure for me and my boyfriend…We are pulling for Autumn. It is a musical after all and she has the voice and appears to have some sort of a soul, unlike Bailey, who is dead behind the eyes. We actually think none of them are going to get it and they’ll give it to Hilary Duff’s over-dresses-hostess-sister.(Haylee?)

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