Terror Vault’s ‘Hexed’ casts a wicked spell
Natasha Nightmare as Slovena in Terror Valut’s Hexed at the San Francisco Mint through Nov. 1. Photo by Jeremy & Camillo
The world in general is a horror show, but there’s something different about the horror of Terror Vault’s annual immersive Halloween experience. For one thing, you pay for it, and for another, it’s the fun, “‘tis the season” kind of horror that some of us enjoy subjecting ourselves to – at least to a certain degree.
This year’s edition, still at the San Francisco Mint (whose stairways smell especially…latrine-esque this year), is called Hexed, and it is just as gross, fun and jump scare-y as you want it to be.
As usual, there’s a tense plot that requires small groups of visitors to move quickly from room to room and through endless hallway mazes to reach the exciting climax. The story of Hexed involves an evil coven of witches, a trio actually, that wants to 1) eat children to bolster their youth and power and 2) lead the world to apocalypse (though I remain unclear how that benefits them, and there weren’t any apparent Republicans around for me to ask for clarification – kidding! Halloween humor!). In a very Marvel touch, the witches can’t attain ultimate power until they have collected all three pieces of a magical shard.
Tracy Layden is Magda Crane and David Flower is the Man-in-the-Mirror. Photo by Jeremy & Camillo.
So, guided by a group of so-called “true believers,” we are shuttled from San Francisco to the radioactive grounds of Cherynobyl, then to the Tibetan Himalayas and then to a creepy New England estate.
In addition to a lot of old-fashioned theatrical set design (the mansion and its grounds are especially pleasing in their immersive detail), there’s some nifty technology/projections in this year’s production. As vistors are guided into portals to get from one far-flung location to another, various light and smoke effects are used, but there’s also an actual spinning room that is quite fun.
Delilah Blackheart is Chef Gristlemarrow. Photo by Jeremy & Camillo
As in past years, if you opt to wear a glowing necklace, the show’s performers will recognize you as someone who wants a higher level of participation, so you will be coaxed, cajoled and mauled more than your non-glowing compatriots. Also as in previous iterations, you will ascend and descend a number of stars, wriggle through some tight, twisty hallways (where goblins, ghouls and rat people will try to scare you into leaving all your bejeebers on the floor). There’s also a slide at one point and a grand finale passageway that ecnourages you to re-live your voyage through the birth canal.
The make-up and costumes, at least what you can see of them in the dim light, are grotesquely fantastic. There’s a Yeti encounter (not of the ice chest variety), a baby back barbecue (of actual babies, naturally) and an encounter with a chef who encourages folks to taste of her wares (best guess is it was fruit roll-up drenched in chocolate sauce).
The more earnest and intense the actors are, the more fun it is – like being in an episode of the original Star Trek – though with a fair amount of noise bleed coming from other rooms, it’s sometimes hard to hear some actors as they tell us what sort of dangers we’re heading into next.
Either before your tour to bolster your courage or after to celebrate your survival, there are two bar experiences in the Mint’s basement. The main bar is the wonderfully named Fang Bang, described as an “an ‘80s New Wave/goth vampire-themed pop-up” with Halloween-themed cocktails (the blood bag sangria looked mighty tasty…and iron rich!). The other bar, part of the VIP package (so of course there’s a velvet rope), is Minerva Moans' witch strip club with another clever name: Triple HeXXXed.
The Disney-nerd-meets-theater-nerd in me loves these immersive experiences. Terror Vault’s expertise seems to grow with each year, and though I’m never really shocked or scared, I always have fun.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
Terror Valut’s Hexed continues through Nov. 1 at the San Francisco Mint, 88 5th St., San Francisco. Running time: about an hour (but make time for the basement bars, photo ops and gift shop). Tickets are $60-$80. Visit terrorvault.com.
